Day 239: Communication

I remember when Gianna was such a small, brand new baby and it was like there was virtually no communication...no emotion. When a young baby cries, it's generally because they want something; in Gianna's case, milk (truthfully, she actually didn't cry unless past hunger--she just made little noises). She never cried because she was tired until around four months of age. Until that point, she'd just fall asleep without a peep, usually while nursing. And even if she did cry, it wasn't an emotional cry as if she were sad or angry, it was a cry because she needed something.

It wasn't until the past couple months that Gianna started to show what I consider real communication and emotion. She'd be obviously happy or angry in the past, but now it seems like she really wants to let you know how she's feeling, what she wants, and she's starting to show affection and the need for physical comfort. It's very sweet!

So many people always seem sad that their babies aren't as young anymore, that they're growing so fast, but I don't know that I quite feel the same way. I'm too excited about all of Gia's developments and how she makes me smile even more now that I see real feeling and a desire to communicate.

Just recently I discovered that she knows what the word "milk" means. I couldn't believe it! She knows her name and her nicknames, but outside of that, I wasn't sure she really understood the other things we may be saying. When I ask, "Milk?" though, she'll almost immediately turn her head and try to nurse. I can hold a sippy cup in front of her and say "milk" and she'll grab it from me and try to drink.

That's why I want to start working on sign language now. A lot of people scoff at teaching babies sign language, I think partially because so many seem to teach a self-made-up version rather than actual ASL. But the difference it can make in your lives is amazing! Babies know what they want and simply can't communicate it well because they don't have the physical ability to form words. They make all sorts of motions with their hands, though. In the past month, Gianna has learned to clap so well, she's so proud of herself. She laughs and laughs, clapping her hands together over and over. If you start to clap, her smile gets so big! It's really precious. And if she has the ability to do that...if she knows to start clapping when she hears the words "Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake..." then doesn't it make sense that she'll be able to imitate signs in order to let us know whether she's hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change?

If you can teach your baby to wave "hello" and "goodbye," you can certainly teach them to make a hand motion for "milk" and many others. It simply takes some effort.

So, I can say I'm very excited to learn a little bit of sign language and start teaching my baby. It's not too difficult to see when she's hungry and when she's had enough, but I'm sure it would become even easier were she able to simply show me herself. Like when I was feeding her today, I had a bottle ready and a bowl of butternut squash. While giving her spoonfuls of squash, she suddenly stopped eating and began fussing, staring and leaning toward her bottle. I picked it up, offered it to her and she immediately started drinking. If she were able to sign "milk," though, she could simply show me that gesture and I'd know immediately, without the worry of fussiness or being able to know what she's looking for.

The signs are quite easy to remember too, so I have no worry that I (or anyone else caring for her, such as Billy!) won't be able to retain enough to teach her. It's just so simple. And I'm confident that as long as we maintain a constant usage of each sign, she'll eventually understand their meaning (as she's come to understand the spoken word, "milk") and one day, in the next couple months, start executing them herself!

I can't wait :)

Day 232: Sweet, Sweet Silence

I love when Gianna just sits quietly, playing on her mat. She seems so precious!

That's not to say she isn't precious. It's just that Gianna is very loud and active and hilarious. She's always yelling and jumping, constantly trying to grab everything that is or isn't in reach. I take her into the bathroom when I'm home alone and need to shower; so, I just set her in her Super Seat where she can play and enjoy herself. A couple days ago, though, she kept yelling and yelling. When I looked to see what was wrong, she was trying to reach a package of menstrual pads and was upset that she couldn't reach them! They were behind her and she was turning as far as she could, reaching way back to get them. I mean, seriously? All those toys in front of her and she's upset that she can't reach my pads.

You have to be very careful about what's within her reach. She wants everything. It can be a handful trying to hold her and keep her still for even a moment! And she loves, loves, loves to talk. Just babbling constantly, making noises, yelling or screeching. She loves to make groaning/moaning sounds, like a creaky door...over and over and over.

So, when she's sitting by herself on her little play mat, quietly examining her toys or trying to clap (that's her newest thing, which she loves!), I just fall in love. Such a little sweetie ;)

Day 221: Exciting Developments

Gianna’s going to be starting “Stage 1 purees” this weekend and I’m so excited! What are “Stage 1 purees” you ask? They’re just single food purees, usually a fruit or vegetable. When you teach a baby to eat solid food, you essentially do it in stages…or you should do it in stages. First, you start with cereals (rice, barley, oatmeal) that will get them used to the texture without any likely allergic or digestive reactions. Once the baby has gotten used to that, you move onto single-ingredient purees, such as carrot puree or apple puree and you can also mix that with cereal. Once you know your baby isn’t allergic to certain things and you’ve learned what they like, you can start to mix things up and then you’re moving onto the next stages. Blah blah blah, haha.

ANYWAY, we started Gia a little late, in my opinion. A baby may be ready for solids starting at four months of age and while Gianna was physically ready, we just never had the chance to start. I happened to get sick every weekend and didn’t want to miss the big event and, otherwise, we’d be extremely busy with other responsibilities. You’d think it shouldn’t take very long to just feed a baby a couple tablespoons of food for the first time, but that’s not the case at all! You may be sitting there for half an hour trying to get the baby to accept the food...and trying to keep her hands out of the bowl or at least keep them off the furniture once they’ve been in the bowl. It’s a fun event. So, we never made the proper time until she was somewhere in the five to six month range. Then we started cereal, which is hilarious to watch, but I’m ready for more!

I’m just excited to actually cook for my baby and watch her decide what tastes good and what doesn’t. I’ll be even more excited getting the chance to mix up the flavors for more interesting items and to watch her start trying to feed herself even more. She already tries to take the spoon from us and direct it into her mouth, which always gets me cracking up.

We also recently starting giving her a sippy cup to experiment with, just filled with a little water, and it’s the cutest thing in the world to watch her hold onto the handles and suck on the sippy spout, trying to get the water out like it’s a bottle! All I had to do was demonstrate once and she immediately was adamant about drinking out of it. I could put that cup in front of her with a mixture of toys and she’ll go for the cup so she can feed herself. I love it! Silly baby.

I’m also really excited for some stainless steel sippy cups I recently purchased online. I know, I’m crazy. But these have a spout that isn’t supposed to leak, unlike our current cup, and I just can’t wait to put some milk in it and let her really try to drink for herself without worrying that she’s going to spill it everywhere. And I won’t have to worry about plastics or any of that bull. I know, “BPA free!” but too bad. I just hate plastic anyway. Durable glass and metals for the win!

Another thing I’m really looking forward to is our purchase of a convertible car seat. I recently got a Jeep Patriot, my very first mom car after my beautiful, single-girl Mustang that I had since I was fifteen,

16 years old and loving it!

My last hurrah. I threw on an outfit I'd have worn in high school (including a leather jacket from high school) and sped through 
the streets listening to Linkin Park as loud as my stereo would go! And then I said goodbye.

This baby got to ride in that car twice...at a very slow pace...in a very cramped back seat (the passenger seat had to be 
moved all the way forward to fit the car seat!). Glad to have my Patriot now. But I miss you, Tes!

and I’m excited to outfit it into a true family vehicle, haha! It seems crazy to me to think like that, but I love it. I’m even looking for some really cute window decals, you know the ones depicting each family member, including the dog.

The last thing I’m excited for is a diaper bag I can’t yet own……so sad! But it’s really amazing. A photographer named Kelly Moore has been designing camera bags that look like purses, but have removable, Velcro-attached dividers to keep camera equipment organized. The bags are strong and durable for the equipment and yet super stylish. What gets me are the dividers. I haven’t been able to find a single diaper bag that doesn’t have silly pockets sewn into the sides inside the purse—pockets are pointless! Once I fill a pocket, it expands into the bag, taking up space in the center that I can no longer use. And because they don’t extend all the way to the bottom of the bag, that space is now useless as well. So, I actually get less storage because of the pockets, which are supposed to help to organize. Kelly’s dividers, however, are affixed to the bottom of the bag and are made of a strong material that stands up very well, not something flimsy that falls over and gets in the way. She even has bags with “Posey pockets” on the outside, which are zipper compartments that fold open to reveal tons of credit card slots and two pockets for cash, checkbook, keys, whatever! So exciting. She has one bag that’s the perfect size, but I just can’t afford it right now. One day, though…one day.

Day 204: Regrets

Okay, this is just a very quick entry...Gia's napping in the room and my typing tends to disturb her!

But...I'm sitting here editing her newborn photos. The hospital in which she was born has a contract with a professional photography company that, I believe, employs freelance photographers (just an assumption). We were given an advertisement with some amazing photos, looked at the website with even more amazing photos, and I figured, that's it! All I wanted was a disc of the images and there was no sitting fee, so we'd only have to pay for the disc as opposed to a privately hired photographer's sitting fee as well as fee for disc or any prints. I believe some pros don't even offer a disc, which would be a no-go for me because I want full printing rights until the end of time. It's just simpler that way. Plus, I don't trust the work of professionals; I just haven't had good experiences. Not with photographers, necessarily, but professionals all around. So, I like to have a disc handy to make my own edits, if necessary. And necessary it has turned out to be!

First, I was put off by the fact that this woman used a flash. I have a newborn...two day old baby who was just enveloped in darkness. You're going to blow a flash in her face? The ad said "natural light" not flash photography. In my opinion, a flash is hideous anyway. Natural light photos have such better quality, better dimension! I overlooked it at the time, though.

Second, when we received the disc of photos, I wanted to cry. The quality was the worst I'd ever seen. Her camera had to be at least as good as mine, which takes amazingly detailed photos. So, why did it look like, literally, a 1 mp camera was used as opposed to 8 or higher? I wrote to the company to complain. I was so upset! My baby was no longer a newborn when we received the disc! I wanted a large print of at least one, but a 4x6 would be the largest acceptable unless I wanted the ugliest photo possible.

So, the photographer sent a new disc with the unedited photos. Much better, but still disappointing because of the flash. Shadows existed where they shouldn't, bits and pieces were blown out white, and detail was nonexistent when it should have been great. There was at least more detail than her edits, though. And why is that? Because she over-airbrushed the photos. She airbrushed my newborn baby! Babies need that amount of airbrushing? Really? Her hairline was gone, it was so overdone!

At the time, I had already been deep into my own constant photography of Gianna, so I didn't make the time to edit the original photos--to correct the lighting and color that the flash ruined. As Gia napped today, however, (I use the past tense because, at this point, she has woken up. Haha) I decided to try to make a dent. I got one finished ;) Oh well! It's phenomenal in comparison, in my opinion...and took probably an hour.

And, one day, I'll have reworked them all :)

If I could do it all over again, though, I'd hire my own photographer after extensive research. Trusting a company to actually have all equally talented professionals is ignorant. Of course they took the best photos they were given and advertised those! There have to be as many less talented photographers employed by them as well, though. Silly, financially poor Kelly. Next time...except it still kills me that I don't have the absolutely most amazing pictures this time :( Gia deserves them! And I think I do too :-P

Anyway, time to feed the moo! Talk later...which hopefully means soon, hehe.

Day 199

Gia's so silly.

Last night when I brought her upstairs for some quiet time before bed, all she wanted to do was bounce around and laugh...and eat her hands and blanket. She was definitely tired! She'd been yawning and rubbing her eyes before we went upstairs and was also clearly hungry, but that's what she does! I'm guessing the playfulness is a little bit because of tiredness, but it's pretty hilarious.

I keep reading that you should be boring at bedtime--make it a quiet, soothing experience--that you shouldn't engage in stimulating activity...and, for the most part, I don't. But when she's trying to jump up and down on my lap with her mouth wide open, or makes big eyes and opens her mouth, leaning toward me, to try to eat my face, or when she shoves her hand in her mouth, makes a big smile, and starts to make laughing sounds, I just can't help but engage! She's simply too funny.

Last night, she did all of this, of course...I had her standing up on my lap and I'd rock back and forth in the glider, bringing my face to hers every once in a while and saying things like "boo!" while she gave a single laugh for each one. At one point, she was sucking madly on her hand and smiling at me, so I'd stick my face right up to her and make noises or pretend to eat her hand as well...then she put both hands on either side of my face and I was just covered in slobber. It was so gross and cute at the same time.

She loves the dark. That's one problem with bedtime. We go upstairs to sit in the dark with some lullabies and just relax and try to finish eight ounces of milk before falling asleep. But what happens is that she just wants to make faces and laugh at you! The dark simply cracks her up. I love it, though, because then that cracks me up and I'm in a good mood. As long as my baby is happy, I guess I couldn't care less. And the play time doesn't go on for so long that it overtires her or eclipses bedtime. At some point, she'll scrunch her little face up and start rubbing her eyes, and then I know play time is officially over and she's probably ready to be rocked to sleep with a bottle in her mouth.

I wish I had a night vision camera to capture those nighttime play sessions, though :) Silly baby.

Day 190: Goodbye, Rockabye

It's been a long time since I got to sleep with Gia in my arms. You'd think holding a baby while you sleep would feel like a burden, like something difficult to pull off that infringes on your own sleep. It wasn't like that, though. I probably spent a good month holding Gia through the night when she was a newborn. After that...though she slept, swaddled, in her co-sleeper...I always held her while she slept during the day. She would often wake up after being set down, so we always just held her; she'd fall asleep on my belly while eating and I'd hold her there for the next three hours, propped up on her Boppy pillow. Yes, my butt got really numb, but she was pretty precious.

At night, when Gia had outgrown her Boppy and I'd become tired, I'd wedge myself into the corner of the sectional, where I could sit up with my knees bent and arms propped on top of them to hold her, and I'd lay my head against the cushion so I could drift off with her in my arms as she ate and fell asleep, herself. I usually didn't have to hold her through the night anymore, but sometimes she just wouldn't stay asleep once I set her in the co-sleeper, so I'd let her lie across my belly, her little head snuggled into the crook of my arm, while we both slept until morning.

That was only a month ago. Gia used to always fall asleep while she was eating. It was something that became very relaxing. When she'd get hungry, I'd pick her up, cradle her on my lap, and close my eyes, resting, while she drank her milk and went to sleep. I'd wrap her favorite blanket around her, creating a soft hood around her face, and we'd just snuggle until she woke up or I was ready to put her in her swing. When we first got the swing, I very often transferred her to it once she was asleep; she easily stayed asleep as I lay her in it and then I was free to get anything done around the house. She's asleep in it right now! After a time, though, I missed holding her.

Gia was almost one hundred percent in someone's arms (usually mine, as I was on maternity leave) for the first few months of her life. As she got older and was able to spend more time playing in her activity gym, she was held far less. She slept less and played more, so her time in my arms was greatly reduced. Really, I only held her for extended periods of time if she were eating. So, I missed her and started holding her through most of her naps, again, instead of putting her in the swing.

Not even a month old.

But that didn't last long. Nowadays, Gia can't be held in her sleep because it's not comfortable for her. If she does fall asleep in my arms, it's only if she's breastfeeding, which is incredibly seldom because she prefers drinking from the bottle. Falling asleep while doing so is even more seldom because it has to be early morning when she's still tired enough to fall right back asleep. Otherwise, she squirms all about, trying to grab anything she can with her hand, essentially trying to play while she eats; she'll get mad, too, because the flow isn't fast enough for her. So, breastfeeding is rare enough, let alone falling asleep while doing so. If she does, though...I need to set her down fairly soon or she'll try to turn and will wake up. Basically, I don't get to hold Gia in her sleep anymore and, certainly, don't get to sleep with her in my arms.

One day, though, a few weeks ago, we had a wonderful, rare moment when, in the middle of the day, Gia was actually able to breastfeed pleasantly and fall asleep in my arms. I held her, rocking in the glider, for as long as I could allow myself and when I stood up to walk to the swing, I glanced out the window and saw that it was snowing. This winter has had next to no snowfall, but at that moment, the street looked like a snow globe. So, I just stood there, rocking my baby in my arms, watching out the window as perfect, tiny snowflakes flurried about, like we were in our own personal globe.

A moment like that hasn't happened since, until early this morning. No romantic snow fell scene, but when Gia awoke hungry early enough for it to be dark, but late enough that I could feed her without ruining her sleep schedule, I was able to pick her up and breastfeed her. She was so sleepy, she just lay there, quietly eating, until she fell asleep--when she does that, she always looks like a newborn again. I wrapped her in the blanket and took the risk of holding her as I lay back and closed my eyes. And for almost an hour I held her like that, as I drifted in and out of sleep, until I decided it was time to lay her in her crib until she was ready to get up. It was truly wonderful.

The whole time, we listened to her lullabies, which I've easily come to love. Billy and I have a Pandora playlist (called "Children's Lullabies Theme") that we put on when she's ready to nap or go to bed and it has some really great music in it. Some is the type of children's lullabies you'd come to expect, but much of it is soft, sweet music by the likes of Jewel, Norah Jones, Jack Johnson, Adele, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, Louis Armstrong, and K.D. Lang (whose rendition of "Hallelujah" has become my favorite).

Back to this morning, though...As I said earlier, Gia is only pleasant while breastfeeding if she's just come out of sleep and can easily fall back asleep! And, of course, later in the morning when she'd woken up again, Gia was hungry and I tried to feed her...at which point she grabbed my necklace, yanking it all about (she loves to do this), and when I moved it out of reach, she started banging her hand on my arm and turning her head to look around the room. So, instead, we got up and I let her play while I pumped a bottle to give her. Much easier ;)

New Year's Eve 2011. Literally my last memory of holding Gia while she slept. 
I always wanted to get a picture of me holding her in bed, 
so I could always remember it, but like many things, I just never took the time.

Day 189: The Breastmilk vs. Formula Dilemma

I’ve been up since about 5:30 this morning—not because I couldn’t sleep or because Gianna wouldn’t, but because I had to pump. Nice time to be up on a Saturday, right?

Gianna’s doctor said to breastfeed for as long as it works for both Gianna and myself…Considering how early I'm up, just for that, I suppose you could claim it doesn’t seem to be working for me anymore. On work days, I pump first thing after my shower—so, I sit here in the living room for half an hour to forty minutes (depending on how quickly I can get downstairs) hopefully pumping until there’s nothing left. That’s about 5:30 in the morning. At work, I take a ten-minute break at nine where I can get maybe two ounces, total, since I’m restrained to only ten minutes. I repeat for my lunch break where I get maybe fifteen minutes of pump time, but often only ten (because I only have half an hour to rush home, let the dog out, use the bathroom, and pump—note: I don't eat lunch on my lunch break!). Then, I repeat, once more at work, for my second ten-minute break around 2:30. So, for three sessions in the span of ten hours, that’s what...about six ounces of milk? Gianna has an appetite for twenty four in that amount of time. Technically, I should be pumping until I’m dry each time, but that would require half an hour of my time and I’m pretty certain the people at my office might have a problem with my taking a half hour break multiple times a day. So, I settle for six ounces, and, really, no breaks.

When I get home, it’s a brand new story. I get off work at five, so I immediately pump upon arriving home and continue until there’s nothing left—that’ll bring us to some time between 5:30 and 6:00. Between 6:00 and 6:30, it becomes quiet time for Gia, which means the lights get turned down and everything that makes noise stops except for her lullabies. We feed her two or more bottles, until she’s full, and hopefully get her to sleep in under two hours. If we started any later, she surely wouldn’t be asleep until after ten. So, I often spend 6:00 to maybe 8:30 or later helping Gianna get to sleep. 

When is dinner, you wonder? I wonder too. Sometimes I’m able to eat during the sleep routine, sometimes after, sometimes not at all. Sometimes, I’m just too tired once it’s all over and want to go straight to bed. I get up at 5 am for work, so 8:30 is really, actually, my own bedtime. I simply don’t usually end up asleep at that time because I’m a) getting the baby to sleep, b) later, eating dinner, c) later, getting my food ready for the next day at work, and d) pumping, yet again. See, I need to pump before I go to bed, myself, because there’s a bottle or more of milk that I’m not about to waste. The less milk I remove, the less milk my body makes. So whether I pump, hand express, or breastfeed, I need to do it as often as possible and for as long as possible or I’ll just dry up. And that’s what’s been the problem.

Since I can pump so little at work, I’ve lost a lot of milk. Before my ten-hour days, it wasn’t quite as bad because I was able to pump every two hours like clockwork and, getting out at 3:30, I immediately breastfed Gianna. Now, I have three hours between pumping sessions at work. When I started, my production quickly decreased, not simply because of work, but because Gia was starting to have trouble breastfeeding (I think from preference to the faster flow of the bottle nipple), so milk got wasted spending so much time trying to get her to eat, and I was too busy on days off to pump. All of this meant that my body thought less milk was needed. Add to that…stress. Stress simply because of a lower milk supply. What does stress lead to? Decreased milk production…leading to more stress! It’s a vicious, unfair cycle. I spent all of last Saturday trying to relieve stress and increase oxytocin levels by having a Meg Ryan romantic comedy marathon; it didn’t work. I even lied for an hour in the bathtub singing along to some 90’s R&B to cut loose some stress. It helped the stress a little, but I wasn’t getting the warm fuzzies from the movies like I usually do (probably because of the stress!) and it simply came back the next day because I literally could only produce about two ounces for the entire day. Panic, panic, panic.

Then I found fenugreek. Fenugreek is a galactagogue. “A galacta what?” Haha…it supports milk production. And boy does it! I’m only back to my normal production, as opposed to overproduction like I’d prefer, but that’s a lot compared to the nearly nothing I was down to. It’s Saturday morning and I already have almost twenty four ounces of milk in the freezer for Monday! That means I, technically, only need to pump one more jar for the ideal supply. Easy! Of course, we’ve been supplementing with formula so that I can build up that supply, but that’s beside the point. It’s helped to bring back my supply and, thus, to relieve some stress. But this isn't the dilemma.

The dilemma is: Should I stop trying to breastfeed because it’s “not working” for me anymore? I don’t get any real breaks during my ten-hour workday. I have to wake up earlier in the morning than usual on weekends in order to stay with my pumping routine. I have to go to bed later than I should in order to stay with my pumping routine. I have to take an herbal supplement to keep my supply up (for now, at least). I have to eat unbelievable amounts of food to have any energy because the calories burned for milk production just kick my butt, not to mention the lack of sleep. I can barely even actually breastfeed my baby because the flow isn’t fast enough for her preference, so I’m reduced to, really, only pumping. I don’t even get that nice, relaxing, snuggly time with my baby while she eats and falls asleep like she used to. Instead, I sit here either holding up two electric pumps or staring into a jar while I work it manually (because, honestly, the pump just can’t get it all) for half an hour or more—really relaxing, right? So, honestly, it’s not a stretch to say that breastfeeding is no longer working…for me.

So, formula, right? We’ve been supplementing to help me out. Also, it mixes with Gianna’s rice cereal a lot better (breastmilk is so much thinner, you need at least twice as much cereal in order for it not to be pure liquid). But you know what? It smells disgusting. I don’t know if it’s because we’re using soy formula (babies under one year aren’t supposed to have dairy, but we don’t drink dairy anyway—we drink soy), but it’s really unappealing. Gianna had the sweetest breath until formula.

Also, the ingredients are not what I’d call ideal. There’s sugar and corn syrup in it! Corn syrup! I had no plans to feed my six-month-old corn syrup. I have no plans to feed my one-year-old (when she gets there) corn syrup. I’m very serious about Gianna maintaining a healthy diet—about her thinking fruit is a sweet snack and having no idea who Little Debbie is or how good her snack cakes taste. I even want her to eat organic produce and meats. So, corn syrup for my six-month-old was not and is not in the plan.

Also, as we speak, I’m on my third cold in three months. A new cold every month! You could say my current cold isn’t even a new one—I’ve been hacking up mucous ever since my last one started four weeks ago and my throat has persistently been a little irritated. Has Gianna been sick, though? No. Absolutely no form of illness in any way, whatsoever, since birth. Outside of some crabbiness and fever brought on by vaccine shots, she’s been as healthy as healthy can be. Sleeping next to me, drinking straight from my illness-riddled body, she hasn’t gotten so much as a cough. I absolutely believe we have breast milk to thank. And do you know what the bottle of formula says? Literally, no lie, the bottle of formula states “Breastfeeding is recommended.” Who can argue with that?

Breast milk is simply better. I want the best for my baby—only the best. As long as I can give that, why would I go any other route? Even if I can only give her two bottles of breast milk a day, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m okay with a little formula here and there—the corn syrup really kills me and I'm hoping, perhaps, the powder doesn't contain that (though, I'm probably wrong), but I'm willing to set that issue aside for my own sanity—but nothing beats sweet, antibody-filled milk straight from the source that was meant to give it.

Am I starving? You bet. Am I tired? Beyond. Is the stress from that worth giving my baby the best nutrition? Definitely. Plus, with increased calorie intake and not an inch of physical work, I weigh twelve pounds less than I did before becoming pregnant. What was meant to be, was meant to be!

Breast milk. It does a body good. (I have wished, for so long, that breastfeeding activists would team up with the "Got Milk?" people to make ads featuring little babies with breast milk mustaches!)

Disclaimer: I feel strongly about the breast milk vs. formula dilemma. There's a real discussion inside that I haven't put forth in this entry, which is more about my struggle to continue breastfeeding rather than society's struggle with the promotion of it. And, while I feel breast milk is best, I, in no way, look down upon those who cannot breastfeed, whatever the reason, or who choose not to. I truly hope my statements don't offend as that is never my intention. And to those who have felt my struggle, you're not alone!