My point is that you come up with ideas and ideals...These are the things you want to happen, but these things may not necessarily happen. I wanted Gianna to drink, exclusively, breast milk; she's supplemented with formula now. I'd like to be a stay-at-home mom! I could never be happier than working a job as a mother and wife...I cannot tell you how happy I'd be to spend my days cleaning, cooking, running errands, and raising my daughter (and possible future children), but our financial situation doesn't permit this, so I work. That's life.
However, the ideals remain. And so, here are my ideas and ideals for Gianna:
- Food
- To eat, exclusively, homemade baby food
- To eat (mostly) organic produce and meats, except from public establishments/at friends'
- To not know the taste of fast food or processed "junk food" for years
- To only eat indulgent meals or desserts on weekends or for special occasions and to associate them with such
- To eat healthy school lunches
- To drink mostly water or fresh juices
- To learn to love all sorts of foods at a young age and want to try new things
- To learn to cook and to enjoy it (and to learn to pick her own food, such as at orchards)
- Television
- No personal television for the first couple years
- Being around while adults watch their shows, fine, but no sitting around to specifically watch children's shows or movies, possibly causing her to be bored with other activities if not receiving that great level of stimulation
- When older, limited viewing
- Only an hour of television a day
- Restrictions on types of shows (I fully blame small and big screen melodrama for a decent portion of child, preteen, and teenage melodrama--active imaginations that think TV is real life!)
- No TV in bedroom
- Play
- As a toddler, very limited electronic use--things like LeapFrog may be okay
- No video games
- Real-life play is essential
- Toys, blocks, puppets, coloring books, sidewalk chalk, reading, storytelling, outdoor activities
- I want her to think learning is fun--educational toys/activities (not electronics) are a must
- To experience thrilling activities like roller coasters before becoming old enough to be too afraid
- To climb trees, leap across creeks, pick up frogs, learn to swim under water, go fishing, not be afraid of the ocean...
- To learn to and enjoy sharing
- Life Lessons
- To be confident no matter what she looks like or what other people think of her
- To teach her that being healthy is what matters, all people are beautiful in different ways, and people are only mean because they're unhappy about something in their life (not yours)
- To always be kind and generous without strings
- To teach her the rule of Thumper's mother, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all," but in proper English ;)
- To have proper etiquette
- Good posture, public behavior, napkin in the lap, elbows off the table, etc.
- To have good social skills
- To be able to talk to strangers with ease, have good conversational abilities, to act interested in what other people have to say, to ask questions without worry
- To know that romance doesn't matter and be comfortable with it
- To just enjoy herself, single or not, and never to settle for someone who doesn't live up to her expectations of happiness
- To never feel the need to hide her feelings, but to deal with them maturely
- To always tell people if she's upset, angry, or disappointed because of them
- To always respond calmly and rationally, not defensively, to those who express the same to her
- To always be comfortable telling someone that she loves them
- To grow up feeling that hugging and kissing anybody hello or goodbye is perfectly natural
- To know that, no matter what, being truly happy is all that matters, no matter what others say or think
- A "career" worth bragging about doesn't matter
- A "career" at all doesn't, as long as you can sustain yourself in a way that leaves you happy
- Having tons of money doesn't matter
- Having lots of material possessions doesn't matter
- Having a boyfriend doesn't matter
- Having tons of friends doesn't matter
- All that matters is that you're happy with your life every day, no matter your job, who your friends are or how many you have, if you have enough money for elaborate trips or stylish clothes, if you go out to dinner all the time, if you see lots of movies, if you're very intellectual, if you're politically active...If living in a shoe (or even in her shoes, as Carrie Bradshaw would have it) with so many children, she doesn't know what to do makes her the happiest, then it should make the rest of us the happiest.
My biggest ideal, which goes with some from above, is this:
As far as we know, you have only this one life, spend it happy, don't spend it meeting others' expectations, no matter who they are or what they mean to you.
